


Stanford Acceptance E-mail

by KillianJones32



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: AU of that scene in 2x15, Canon Compliant, Insecure Oliver, M/M, Oliver doesn't call Stanford
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 04:17:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7419451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillianJones32/pseuds/KillianJones32
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver finds an acceptance e-mail on Connor's laptop. He wants to delete it and ring Stanford pretending to be Connor so he can decline the offer. </p>
<p>He wants to but he doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Disbelief

...

Oliver has never been a particularly nosy person. 

He doesn’t pry into other people’s business. He doesn’t push people to tell him things unless they may need help. He respects everyone’s belongings and secrets and doesn’t intervene where he isn’t wanted. 

But when Oliver saw that his boyfriend had received a new, unopened email from Stanford while Connor was in the shower, he couldn’t help but take a look. 

And now Oliver remembers why you shouldn’t go through people’s things without asking. The words of Connor’s acceptance e-mail screamed at him from the screen and Oliver couldn’t focus on anything else. Blood was rushing through his ears and he was sick to his stomach. 

Connor got accepted into Stanford University 

Stanford. The prestigious university on the other side of the country that any law student would give their right arm to go to. 

But Oliver didn’t want to move to California, there was nothing for him there other than the prospect of Connor transferring there. 

Plus he liked Philadelphia. 

Sure the weather wasn’t the best at times and ever since he quit his boring job, he has been technically unemployed but that doesn’t mean he wants to move away from all his friends and his life here. 

So if given the choice Oliver would prefer not to move. 

But Connor desperately wanted this. 

Oliver knew Connor didn’t really care about the fact that it was the amazing, world-renowned university that he would be attending. Connor just wanted to get away from here. He wanted to escape from Annalise Keating and whatever terrible thing she made him do that he refuses to talk about. 

Connor takes long showers so Oliver has a bit of time to think about what to do. 

He could just delete the email. He could easily erase it from Connor’s inbox, vanish it from the deleted emails section and that would be it. 

No, someone would likely ring Connor from Stanford if he didn’t respond to the e-mail. 

Oliver could ring them.

He could pretend to be Connor and decline the offer. 

Oliver shut his eyes. 

The idea was so tempting. 

To just ring the number attached to the bottom of the e-mail, tell whoever answered that he was Connor Walsh and that regretfully he would have to decline the generous offer. 

It would be so simple. Connor never needed to find out. 

The knot in his stomach tightened at the thought. 

Oliver forced himself to remember when Connor lied to him, when Connor cheated on him. He remembered how awful he felt when he found out, how Oliver felt like his whole world was falling apart even though he hardly knew Connor back then. 

He could only imagine how Connor would feel if Oliver betrayed him like that now. 

So as much as he wanted to delete the email, ring the university and decline the offer, Oliver knew he couldn’t. 

Maybe if Oliver told Connor why he didn’t want to move, if he begged Connor not to transfer and to stay in Philadelphia with him then Connor would stay. 

Imagining Connor moving to the golden state without him made bile rise in Oliver’s throat but he knew he needed to respect Connor’s wishes. 

Oliver couldn’t expect Connor not to move to the state of gorgeous boys, amazing universities and hot weather just because his clingy, geeky boyfriend didn’t want to move. This was an incredible opportunity for Connor and Oliver wasn’t sure if he could live with it if Connor turned the offer down just because of him. 

Oliver was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t hear the sound of running water come to a stop. He didn’t even notice Connor coming into the room until he was brought back to reality when he felt Connor pressing gentle kisses to the back of his neck. 

Jumping out his own skin, Oliver sped to stand and face Connor so his boyfriend couldn’t see what was on the laptop screen behind him. His boyfriend who was only wearing a towel around his waist and a sly smirk, a fact that would usually turn Oliver’s brain to mush but now he hardly noticed. 

“So I was thinking about California.” Connor began. 

This was it.

“Connor…” 

“You don’t want to move and I do so how about-“ 

Oliver couldn’t bear the sound of Connor’s seductive rambles any longer so he tugged Connor closer and kissed him hard on the lips. Connor responded instantly and Oliver made sure to pour everything he had into the kiss, more than fearful that this could be one of their last. 

They didn’t pull apart until they were both utterly desperate for air. Oliver gripped onto Connor’s naked shoulders as if he was a lifeline, his eyes shut tight as he tried to regulate his breathing to say the words that he desperately needed to say. 

Oliver felt fingertips gently stroking his cheek and he forced himself to open his eyes to stare into the beautiful brown ones that were watching him carefully. 

“That was something along the lines of what I was about to say actually.” Connor teased “You alright?” 

Oliver hesitated for a moment, deliberately delaying telling him the truth. 

He took in Connor’s eyes that are glazed over with lust and a hint of worry. His ridiculous hair is still flawless even when it’s wet and not gelled to perfection. Oliver lets his eyes fall to Connor’s lips that are pulled up into a smile. A genuine, loving, playful smile that’s so rare to see on Connor’s face nowadays. 

Would that smile appear more often if they were living in California?

Maybe...probably. 

Either way, Oliver had to give Connor the option to find out. 

Oliver swallowed and he reluctantly stepped aside. 

Connor raised an eyebrow at Oliver but he froze when he caught sight of what was on the laptop screen. 

“Oliver-“ 

“I’m sorry I opened it.” Oliver obligatorily said “It was there and I was curious. It wasn’t my business.” 

Connor put a hand to his mouth, his eyes wide in pure disbelief as he stares at the shocking words “you have been accepted” in silence. 

Oliver looked down at his own wringing hands and spoke just to break the silence, 

“Congratulations.” Oliver whispered “I’m…I’m happy you got in. You deserve it.” 

Oliver hadn’t been lying when he said that he never saw Connor study but he knew just how smart Connor was and he had heard Connor tell him plenty of times that he was studying with Michaela, Laurel or Wes. He was just never sure if that’s what they were really doing or not. 

Connor lets out a little laugh but it doesn’t seem to be directed at Oliver.

“I just…I can’t believe it.” Connor said, finally pulling his eyes away from the screen to look at Oliver. 

Oliver feels guilt pool in his stomach when he sees the happiness and pure joy in Connor’s eyes. Before he can say anything, Connor has thrown his arms around Oliver and is hugging him tightly. 

Connor laughed again into Oliver’s neck and Oliver thinks he can feel teardrops fall onto his neck but he doesn’t mention it. 

“Yeah…” Oliver whispered, his arms wrapping themselves around Connor’s waist pulling him even closer against him as he chokes back his own tears. “I can’t believe it either.” 

...


	2. Two Weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The e-mail said I have two weeks to ring them if I want to decline the offer.” He reaches forward and takes Oliver’s hand in his, squeezing gently, “You can still think about it. There’s still time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who commented and said they wanted me to continue! It means a lot and I'm hope you like this chapter!

...

Connor is partly in shock for the rest of the evening. 

Oliver makes dinner, Connor’s favourite. For special occasions they would usually go out or at least buy take away but Oliver needs the distraction to get his mind off that god damn email. 

Not to mention if they do end up uprooting their lives and moving to California, they’ll need to save all the money they can. 

Connor sits at the countertop reading the e-mail over and over again, still struggling to believe that this is real. That he has a chance to get away from everything he has done wrong since he walked into Professor Keating’s lecture hall on the first day of law school. 

Over dinner, Connor comments on how good the food is, Oliver shrugs the compliment off and neither of them mentions Stanford until they’re clearing up afterwards. While Oliver is drying the dishes that Connor washed, Connor takes out his laptop again and researches places to live near Stanford University. 

He doesn’t realise that Oliver has finished and is reading over his shoulder until he coughs and Connor almost jumps out of his skin. 

“Sorry” Oliver says quietly, a gentle smile tugging on his lips. 

Connor smiles back and kisses him gently, 

“It’s fine.” 

Oliver’s eyes flit to the screen again and Connor catches the fear laced in the familiar brown eyes. 

“I wasn’t…” Connor clears his throat “I wasn’t trying to be presumptuous-“ 

“I know” 

Oliver’s smile doesn’t quite meet his eyes and Connor curses his boyfriend for being such a decent person even when he clearly isn’t okay. 

“Oliver I know you don’t particularly want to move.” 

“It’s not like that-“ 

“It’s exactly like that Ollie.” 

Oliver attempts to say something but sighs instead, 

“I am happy for you…I’m really happy for you. This is…big Connor. It’s Stanford and I know…I know how big of a deal this is to you, to get away from here. But I’m just not sure if I’m ready to move so far away.” 

Connor swallows and turns fully in his seat so he’s facing Oliver. 

“The e-mail said I have two weeks to ring them if I want to decline the offer.” He reaches forward and takes Oliver’s hand in his, squeezing gently, “You can still think about it. There’s still time.” 

Oliver nods in understanding before muttering something about needing to go for a walk. 

“Can I come too?” Connor asks tentatively, after the day’s turn of events he could use a breath of fresh air. 

Oliver hesitates.

“We don’t have to talk. I’d just like to get out too.” 

Oliver nods, “Of course you can come.” 

They walk around the block a few times, the sounds of car horns, flickering streetlamps and a barking dog interrupting their fragile silence in the darkened moonlight. 

They don’t talk about Stanford again until they are lying face to face in bed later that night. 

“I don’t want you to decline the offer just because of me.” Oliver whispers. 

Connor brushes Oliver’s hair back from his face lovingly, “I know and I don’t want you to feel like you have to come with me just because I’m not sure if I could move without you.” 

“But if you move then you’re away from Annalise.” Oliver smiles sadly, “I don’t know what she did to make you hate her so much…I’ve an idea but I won’t ask about it. Anyway I know how much you want to get away from her, from here.” 

Connor knew that Oliver suspected his boyfriend’s hatred for his boss had something to do with the secret illegal act he did that he refuses to talk about. 

Connor also knows that Oliver is right. That if they don’t move Connor might have another breakdown, the panic attacks might get worse and the nightmares could become more frequent. But if Oliver was by his side through all of it then perhaps it would be worth it. 

Nevertheless the idea of Oliver and him moving to California and starting a new life over causes a grin to unconsciously appear on Connor’s face. 

“Can we just…” Connor says softly “Can we just imagine what it would be like to live there though?” 

When Oliver answers with only a raised eyebrow, Connor continues, 

“And I don’t just mean the sun and the yoga.” Oliver chuckles and Connor’s hopes lift

“I mean…I know someone that I went to boarding school with who went to Stanford. I could contact him and ask about places to live nearby. Affordable places.” Connor emphasis “And we can ask your doctor about HIV treatment in California, I’m sure she’ll be able to pass on your notes to whoever your next doctor would be out there. We’d find only the best for you Ollie.” Connor assures him, knowing all too well how insecure Oliver gets about his diagnosis and his frequent doctor’s appointments. 

“Tell me more” Oliver closes his eyes “The good stuff; tell me the good stuff about us moving there.” 

Connor traces a finger along Oliver’s cheek, “You might have to get an I.T. job to start with. But a good one, a really good one; not something boring like your old job. This job would be somewhere you would be creating websites or even hacking! Except you wouldn’t be doing it for your cocky boyfriend and his boss, you’d be hacking for some secret spy agency.” 

Oliver laughs loudly at Connor’s low, ominous voice and he shifts closer in the bed so their chests are touching. 

“I doubt I’d be able to work with a lawyer but that’s alright.” Connor tries not to flinch, thinking how badly working with Annalise Keating turned out, “Maybe I’d work in a small coffee shop or something. You could come in every day after work, I’d make you your coffee and you could sit in the corner pretending to read or work on your laptop but really you’re checking me out the whole time.” 

Oliver opens his eyes just to roll them at Connor’s teasing tone. 

“Well obviously” Oliver replies sarcastically, shutting his eyes again. 

Connor nips Oliver’s nose, “I’m not finished yet.” 

“Sorry” Oliver attempts to whisper but it comes out more of a giggle. 

Connor gives a fake-annoyed huff,

“Anyway. We’d live in an apartment, one like this except with a view of the sea. Saturday would be our day where we’d go to the beach. You would read and I’d fail at making sandcastles but you’d tell me they were great just so I wouldn’t pout all the way home.” 

“Yeah that sounds like us alright.” Oliver opens his eyes and looks straight into Connor’s deep brown ones, “I like it” 

“You do?” Connor can hear the pathetic hope in his own voice but he doesn’t care.

Oliver nods against the pillow, “I do. I really like it. The idea of us…living there, escaping from both of our pasts and being happy is…amazing and it’s all I want.” 

Unfortunately Connor senses a ‘but’ coming. 

“But…what if it’s all just a fantasy? A beautiful dream that will fall apart six months down the line?” 

Connor shakes his head but Oliver ignores him,

“Honestly? I’m a bit scared of moving so far away. Neither of us knows anyone there, except maybe your estranged peer from boarding school but we’ve no friends or family living anywhere near California. We would be all on our own. And what if…” Oliver gulps “What if we don’t work out.” 

“Ollie-“ 

“No I’m serious Connor. It’s the last thing I want but if something happens one day and we break up then there’s nothing in California for me.” 

“That wouldn’t happen. I won’t let it.” 

Oliver’s voice softens, “You can’t promise that, neither of us can.” 

Connor looks down and squeezes his eyes shut, fighting back any tears that may be threatening to spill down his cheeks.

Then he feels Oliver’s arm around his waist pulling him closer. Skin to skin, chest to chest, he can feel Oliver’s breath on his face and Connor shudders. 

“I don’t want that Connor.” Oliver whispers in his ear, “I don’t. It’s the worst case scenario, I know that.” 

Connor nods but he can’t bring himself to look at Oliver just yet, knowing that if he does, he may break down at even the thought of Oliver thinking about them breaking up. 

“Connor?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I love you” 

Connor reaches down and interlocks his fingers with Oliver’s. 

“I love you too Ollie.” 

“I don’t want this to be the end.” 

“It won’t be.” Connor looks up to see that Oliver’s eyes are shining with unshed tears too, “I won’t let it Oliver no matter what we decide, if we stay or go I don’t care. I meant what I said…you’re everything to me.” 

Oliver kisses him then. A kiss that starts out rough and passionate but quickly turns loving and gentle. Connor doesn’t realise he’s crying until Oliver kindly brushes them away with his fingertip.

Eventually they pull away, both of them needing a good night’s rest after their long day yet it takes a while for both of them to go to sleep. 

Even though they are quite comfortable cuddling in one another’s arms, the deadline haunts their minds as if it’s on a repeated, never-ending loop. 

Two weeks. 

They have two weeks to decide the future of their relationship. And whatever they decide could change everything. 

...


	3. A Reason To Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Keating Five are in Annalise’s sitting room once more. Reading through hundreds of case files, trying to sort out their latest crisis when Michaela decides now is the perfect time to dig into Connor’s personal life.

...

Of course it’s Michaela who brings it up.

The Keating Five are in Annalise’s sitting room once more. Reading through hundreds of case files, trying to sort out their latest crisis when Michaela decides now is the perfect time to dig into Connor’s personal life. 

“So I heard that Stanford sent out their acceptance letters.” 

Her tone is bordering on nonchalant but Connor sees the inquisitive look in her eyes as she stares at him. 

He has spent the past few days debating whether or not to tell his colleagues the news so Connor guesses there are not many reasons to hide the truth from the people who already know your biggest, darkest secret. 

“They did, acceptance e-mails actually.” Connor can’t help but correct her when he gets the chance. 

“And?” Michaela persists

“And…I got in.” 

Connor can tell the precise second that the room goes still. Michaela’s mouth drops open with a pop, Laurel makes a sound between a laugh and a scoff, the pen Wes was chewing on falls dramatically to the floor and for once Asher is the quiet one in the room as he just looks right back at Connor with an expressionless face. 

Nobody says anything for a minute, maybe they are hoping Connor will tell them whether he’s moving or not. Knowing them, they are probably hoping that he is. 

“That’s great.” 

Of course the puppy would be the first to speak. 

Wes’s smile is genuine as always but Connor always has a hard time believing anything that comes out of his any of his friends’ mouths is genuine. 

“Thanks” Connor replies awkwardly

He supposes he should have planned this better, decided exactly what to tell his friends but he had been so caught up with Oliver that he hadn’t even planned to tell them about Stanford until now. 

“Seriously,” Wes settles back into the couch and goes back to reading their clients previous criminal records, “It’s about time someone gets away from this place.” 

If this weas the early days, Asher would have snorted at that comment. Michaela would have lectured him on what a good opportunity this is, Laurel would have rolled her eyes and Connor…Connor would have made some snarky remark probably about how just because Wes couldn’t handle Middleton University law school, doesn’t mean that he couldn’t.

But those days are long gone and now there is just a chorus of nods around the room. 

Laurel pipes up next, 

“Have you decided whether you’re going or not yet?” 

Laurel’s the sensible one. Connor remembers how she was the first one who tried to escape from Annalise’s clutches, back in the very beginning when she was dating that legal aid guy and had almost taken a job with him. 

She knows how easy it is to be tempted by another opportunity and then decide to reject it. Because no matter how much they’d love to leave Annalise Keating’s house and never look back, the knowledge and guilt of what they did would haunt them forever either way. 

Connor shakes his head, resigned to the fact that now he’d have to tell them everything, “No I haven’t” 

“Well what does Oliver want?” 

Connor shrugs, “He’s not that keen on moving across the country.” 

Laurel nods understandingly, “Well I hope you’re happy with whatever decision you make.” 

Connor senses there is something more behind her words but he doesn’t dwell on it, “Thanks.” 

His eyes flit to Michaela who has her eyes trained on the bundles of paperwork in her lap. Her jaw is clenched and her hand clutches her highlighter so tightly that Connor fears she may break it. 

He remembers their conversation from the sleepover, her fears of being alone and his promises that he wouldn’t leave because there’s no way he would get in to Stanford. 

He silently begs her to say something, to smile that fake Michaela smile and tell him she’s happy for him only for him to bite back that she’s only jealous. He wouldn’t even mind if she yelled at him, ordered him not to leave. At least that would make his choice easier. 

But Michaela remains quiet; Connor is about to catch her attention when Asher decides to join in the conversation. 

“You won’t move.” 

All eyes, including Michaela’s turn to Asher. 

“How do you know I won’t move?” Connor frowns, annoyance laced in his tone. 

“O-man isn’t going to move. It’s clear he doesn’t want to and I doubt you’re planning on telling him the truth about why you’re so desperate to move any time soon. So unless you want to move without him, I can’t see you going anywhere.” 

Anger boils in Connor’s stomach. 

He wants to protest, insist that he’s more than capable of leaving Oliver here if it came down to it. He wants to tell doucheface that he can make his own decisions without Oliver. 

But he would be lying his ass off and everyone would know it so there’s no point. 

“There’s still some time for me to contact Stanford” Connor sighs, “We haven’t decided if moving is right for us yet.” 

And it’s true. 

Connor’s hesitance to move isn’t just because of Oliver. In all honestly, Connor isn’t 100% sure he can walk away from this place. He would be so far away from his family if he moves to California. 

He hasn’t even told his mother or Gemma about applying to transfer. 

Gemma would be thrilled for him, a little envious of moving to the west coast with his hot boyfriend maybe but she would be happy for him. 

His mother however would be devastated that he was moving so far away from home. Philly is one thing but California is another. 

Despite all the reasons why he should stay, Connor can’t stop thinking about the reasons why he wants to move. 

He can’t help but feel that everything would be better out in California. 

He wouldn’t have to go into this house every day, he wouldn’t have to look at that specific spot where he lay beside Sam Keating and looked into his cold, dead eyes. He wouldn’t have to see the forest where they burned his body. 

He wouldn’t have to relive the worst night of his life again and again and again. 

California would be a fresh start for him and Connor just knows that transferring is the right thing for him to do. 

He knows it’s the right thing for Oliver to do too, the safe thing for Oliver to do. 

If only he could convince Oliver of that. 

A loud slam causes Connor to jolt out of his thoughts.

Michaela has stood up and her pile of paperwork has been dropped violently onto the coffee table. 

“I need some air.” She states and not even bothering to grab her coat, Michaela flees the room and a minute later they hear the front door close with an echoing bang. 

Closing his eyes at the sound, Connor tries to swallow the guilt rising in his throat. 

He knows it isn’t his fault he was accepted into Stanford and he’s aware that he has every right to consider transferring there. 

But for some reason Michaela and him became sort of a team after the incident with Sam. 

They were the ones who wanted to be there the least, they wanted to leave the body where it was, and they were probably the two who were damaged the most after what happened. 

Michaela breaking things off with Aiden, losing a considerable amount of weight and caring less and less about her studies as the stress of what they did got to her. 

Connor lying to Oliver about having a drug problem, his frequent panic attacks and nightmares that leave him in a constant state of fear that if things are going well then something bad is inevitably going to happen. 

Basically they were similar because they were both a complete mess. Not to mention they both made the grave mistake of falling for Aiden Walker which made them both a bit insane even before that dreaded night happened. 

All of them had been changed by that night but Michaela and Connor were possibly the only ones who realised just how wrong what they did was. 

Laurel, the good, sensible wallflower lived with herself by knowing that Sam killed Lila so he deserved to die too. 

Wes, for a short period of time had Rebecca to lean on. It was worth it for Wes because even though he was the one who murdered Sam, Rebecca was safe and that was all he cared about. 

If the roles were reversed and it was Michaela moving to the other side of the country, Connor would definitely not be thrilled about it. 

Despite their rocky start, Connor found himself trusting Michaela the most out of their dysfunctional little friend group. And despite all her flaws he quickly grew to like her for more than just her sharp-wit and clever brain. 

Muttering some excuse to the others, Connor stood up and followed Michaela outside, grabbing her coat as he left. 

Michaela sat on the thankfully dry steps of the Keating household, hands clasped on her knees as she watched the people pass by. 

Connor sat beside her and threw her coat into her lap, 

“I thought you might want this.” 

Michaela glanced at him before tugging the coat on and murmuring, “Thanks” 

They sit in silence for a while, huddled together for warmth. Michaela’s head leans on his shoulder as they watch the man across the road trim his already perfect hedges, content in listening to the sounds of the birds chirping or the cars that hurriedly pass them by. 

Connor looks up at the grey sky and wonders how often the sky gets dull and dark in California. Is it always blue skies and sunny days like on TV? Or would there still be rainy days where Oliver and he could binge watch Netflix and make blanket forts that block out the rest of the world? 

Connor wasn’t sure but he’d still like to find out. 

“This isn’t a joke is it?” 

The barely heard whisper makes Connor smile. 

“No…no it isn’t.” Connor answers

Michaela sits up straight again and turns to look at him, her face is impassive but Connor can feel her hands shaking slightly; he prays it’s only from the cold. 

“I can’t cope with all of this without you.” 

Connor tries to grin, “Of course you can. You’re Michaela Pratt! You can do anything!” and he means it. Michaela Pratt could leave law school right now and become a rocket scientist if she wanted too. 

She laughs bitterly, “I can study, pass exams and lecture you all about not doing a scrap of work but I can’t…I can’t deal with this, with her without someone else.” 

“You’ll have the others” 

Michaela raises her eyebrows in her way of saying ‘are you actually serious?’ 

“They won’t help me when Annalise goes nuts again, when she tries to get us to murder someone else.” Michaela hisses “None of them will stick by me like you did. They’re all going to look out for themselves. Plus they will be no good with hacking into police departments or detecting which of my prospective boyfriends are gay or not so you have to stay. You and Oliver both have to stay right here.” 

Connor wraps an arm around her shoulder and brings her in closer. 

“You just want me to be your gay best friend.” He teases 

Michaela rolls her eyes, “Okay I get it, I’m over-reacting.” 

Connor shakes his head, “No you aren’t. Trust me you’re one of the only reasons why I want to stay here. I don’t want to leave but…Michaela I’m scared that if I don’t go soon I’ll lose my mind.” 

Michaela smiles sadly, “That’s what makes us different from them.” 

Connor frowns, “What do you mean?” 

“We’re the only ones sane enough to actually go crazy after all we’ve done.” 

Connor never really thought about it that way but he knew she was right.

“What about Oliver?” Michaela continues, “If he decides he doesn’t want to move…will you stay?” 

Connor shrugs, “Honestly? I’m not sure. I think so…I don’t think I could move without him.” 

Michaela sniffs but she still manages to pull off a smirk, “Aww, how sweet.” 

“What?” 

“You can’t stand to be without him” 

“Course I can.” His lies don’t even sound convincing to his ears. 

Michaela relents and leans into him again, 

“It’s not a bad thing. We shouldn’t have made fun of you for what you said before. That he got you through this. I’m glad you have him.” 

Connor leans the side his head gently against the top of hers, 

“I’m sorry about Caleb…” 

Michaela laughs “Don’t be. You were right; I have terrible taste in men.” 

“Still…” 

“It’s fine Connor…really.” 

Even though he suspects it isn’t, Connor knows when to stop pushing when it comes to Michaela so he remains quiet. 

“You really want to go don’t you?” 

Connor looks out at the familiar street where the man across the road is now in deep conversation with his neighbour, most likely discussing his growing vegetables. 

Laughing college students run down the sidewalk, rushing to go who knows where. Normal students who have normal lives that don’t involve them covering up murders for their colleagues or bosses. 

He thinks of the house behind him, the secrets that dwell in those walls and in the people that practically live there. He thinks of how he tends to walk just a bit faster whenever he hears sirens in the distance or the ping of fear he feels when he sees a police car. 

“Yeah” He says finally “Yeah I do.” 

Michaela sighs, “Fine, I’ll let you go” 

Connor smirks, “You’ll let me go?” 

“Only if you agree to give me first dibs on any good contacts you make at Stanford.” 

“Of course.” 

Why is he not surprised that that is her top priority? 

“And you have to keep in contact with me.” Michaela prods his arm hard with her finger, “I know how much you will want to forget about this place but that can’t include me. You’ve to call me every few weeks and you have to let me visit so I can get a nice break in the sun every once in a while.” 

Connor laughs, “Done. You know I might not even go right?” 

Both of them stand and make their way to the door, ready to go back inside. 

Michaela rolls her eyes, “Don’t listen to Asher. You’re going to go and Oliver is going to go with you and it’ll all be perfect.” 

Connor smiles, “Thanks Michaela.” 

“I don’t know why I was worrying anyway.” Michaela pulls the door open “They’re going to kick you out in the first week when they see how big of a mistake they made.” 

Connor laughs and both of them reluctantly return to scanning through files and paperwork spread across the room.

Somehow Connor feels a small bit better about this whole situation than he did before and he never thought it would be because of Michaela ‘Prom Queen’ Pratt. 

But then again some people can surprise you and he knew that better than anyone. 

..


	4. Long Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver swallows, “I asked what you thought about long distance relationships.”  
> It takes Connor a few seconds to realise just what Oliver is saying.  
> “I…long distance?” Connor says slowly “You mean for us?”

...

The following morning, Connor and Oliver are sitting at the counter eating breakfast. 

Oliver doesn’t need to get up early anymore seeing as he quit his job but he still insists on waking up when Connor does. 

Connor isn’t sure if it’s just because Oliver is a morning person or because he doesn’t want Connor to get ready for his day alone but he appreciates the gesture either way. 

Connor is still groggy from his restless night’s sleep which is why he doesn’t hear Oliver when he calls his name.

“Connor?” Oliver repeats 

Connor looks up and puts down his mug of coffee, “Yeah?” 

Oliver swallows, “I asked what you thought about long distance relationships.” 

It takes Connor a few seconds to realise just what Oliver is saying. 

“I…long distance?” Connor says slowly “You mean for us?” 

Oliver nods 

“Well I…” Connor sighs, “I don’t know. It’s an option I suppose…” 

What he really wants to say is that he doesn’t like the idea at all but after everything he has kept from Oliver and after all the mistakes he has made in this relationship, he at least owes it to Oliver to at least think about long distance if that’s what Oliver wants.

Oliver drops his spoon and reaches for Connor’s hand. 

“I don’t want to stop you from going to California.” 

“Oliver-“ 

“No just let me explain okay?” Oliver squeezes Connor’s hand gently.

Connor closes his mouth and nods.

“I know how much you want to leave here. At first I admit I didn’t think you’d get into Stanford” 

Connor can hear the trace of guilt in Oliver’s tone so he squeezes his hand back so Oliver knows that it’s okay. After all Connor was sure he wouldn’t get in either. 

“But you did and I want you to go because Stanford is…well its Stanford and it’s an amazing opportunity. It’s perfect for you and you should definitely go.” Oliver gives him a strangled smile “I’m just not sure if it’s perfect for me.” 

“It could be-“

“I know…I know and I’m not saying no to moving to California with you! I’m not, I’m just thinking of options because…” Oliver sighs “I wouldn’t be able to work with Annalise without you there no matter how much it thrills me. I’d miss you too much but…my old boss keeps calling, offering me a promotion if I come back to work. It’d be good money, something new so I wouldn’t be bored and I’m pretty sure he’d give me time off if I asked for it to go visit you.” 

“But you hated your job Ollie.” 

“I know; that’s why I quit in the first place but…I mean it would just be easier and more cost officiant if I stayed here....I think…I don’t know.” 

Connor swallows

He understands Oliver’s confusion, he really does. Moving 3,000 miles away wasn’t in their plans until recently. Oliver had been perfectly content in his job, his apartment and his life until hurricane Connor came into his life. 

Of course Oliver wants to explore other options. 

Connor just isn’t sure he could live with himself if he moved to California without Oliver. 

Oliver gives up on eating his cereal and stands, 

“Just…think about it okay? I’m not sure if I will stay or not. It’s just an option.” 

Connor nods absentmindedly and within fifteen minutes he is out the door, physicking himself up for another torturous day of law school and work with Annalise Keating. 

…

But he does think about what Oliver said. 

It’s practically the only thing he can think about all day. 

Annalise asks him a question in class and she has to repeat herself three times before giving up after he gives some hopeless excuse for an answer. 

In his lectures, Connor imagines waking up in the mornings in an unfamiliar apartment without a body curled into his side.

He imagines not seeing Oliver’s bed head in the morning, not being able to tease him for his snoring or not pressing kisses along a half asleep Oliver’s neck because Oliver refuses to kiss him on the lips because of ‘morning breath’. 

Within his first lecture, Connor already feels his stomach tightening at the idea of not sleeping next to Oliver every night and the torturous thought of waking up to cold sheets every morning. 

At work, while the Keating Five discuss everything from their miserable love lives to their latest case, Connor tries to think of what it would be like not listening to Oliver’s rambling about cute nerdy stuff that he doesn’t understand every day. 

Who would debate with him over which Harry Potter book was the best? Who would kiss him gently on the cheek after they told him he was definitely a Slytherin but reassure him that wasn’t a bad thing? 

The sitcom marathons, the book discussions and the stupid goddamn crossword puzzles that Connor knows Oliver lets him win half the time. 

Because yes they are that old, domesticated couple that have competitions over crossword puzzles, sue them. 

Bonnie tells them that Annalise needs them to stay for a few extra hours to help solve an important part of their case so Connor takes this as an opportunity to clear his head. 

He offers to go out and get take out for them so they don’t starve and his colleagues practically throw their money at him just so he can get it as quickly as possible. 

On his walk to the local take-away, Connor envisions going to the local take out in California and only buying a meal for one instead of the usual meal for two that Oliver and him have grown accustomed to getting every Friday night. 

Connor predicts himself making a fool of himself for the first few weeks by forgetting about Oliver absence and buying their regular meal, only to have to throw half of it out because there’s no boyfriend for him to share it with. 

He snaps of his thoughts when the man behind the counter asks him for his order and he has to think twice about it because even now his reflex is to say his and Oliver’s usual. 

If Asher were here right now he would call him 'whipped' but Connor can't find it in him to care.

…

It’s past nine pm when Annalise finally lets them leave. 

Connor was in such a hurry to leave that he has to button up his coat as he briskly walks home. He still hasn’t bought a new car since Frank stole his SUV but he supposes that will work out in his favour if he does wind up moving to California. 

He’s halfway home when he smells it; the thick scent of smoke. 

Rationally, Connor knows that it’s just cigarette smoke coming from the people standing outside a club across the street but in his head it’s a completely different type of smoke. 

Because when Connor closes his eyes and inhales the smoke-tainted air, all he can see is Sam Keating’s body going up in flames. 

He sees Sam’s body burning to pieces because of him, because of them, because of what they did. 

Connor braces one hand against a pole and stops walking, taking a minute to breathe; reminding himself of where he is, where he isn’t and who is going home to. 

Oliver, his Oliver. 

His Oliver that’s less than ten minutes away. The man who when he walks in the door, will wrap his arms around him. The man who asks him how his day went and who listens to his rants on the bad days. 

Connor is hit with the thought of waking up to nightmares without Oliver.

Without someone who holds him in the middle of the night and strokes his tangled hair while Connor sobs incoherently about scarlet blood and that stupid trophy and the smoke, god the stench of the smoke. 

He thinks about what it would be like if he were walking in California and smelt a bonfire or if he was running across campus to get to another lecture and brushed past some students smoking. Would he be able to keep walking? 

Would he be able to swallow the bile rising in his throat without the thought of Oliver’s smile to come home to? 

No, Connor knows he wouldn’t.

Because he knows he can’t escape what he did to Sam but for some reason Oliver Hampton makes it easier to forget. 

Oliver makes it easier for him to live with himself and what he has done. 

And Connor just knows that he can’t move to California without Oliver by his side. 

...

Connor isn’t the only one who thinks about it though. 

Oliver is tortured all day by thoughts of what a long distance relationship would be like for him and Connor. 

As he deletes yet another voicemail from his boss, Oliver thinks of what it would be like to come home to an empty apartment if he goes back to work at his old office. 

He had been wary when Connor unexpectedly decided to move in but he quickly adapted to living with the law student. 

Oliver isn’t sure if he could stand coming home from work and not see Connor sitting on the couch, pouring over work for Annalise with his feet up on the coffee table. 

As Oliver looks around his apartment he realises just how much of Connor Walsh has made its way into their tiny home. 

His school books are stacked on almost every table surface, his DVDs and CDs are stuffed in the cabinet under the TV and his lacrosse stick sits in the corner of the sitting room. 

Connor told him that he hasn’t played lacrosse since his early boarding school days but he liked to keep it for sentimental purposes. 

That was something that had surprised Oliver about Connor; he was very sentimental about things. 

He had filled one of their bedroom drawers with photo albums that Oliver had only been allowed to look at once but they were full of pictures of his family, who Connor gushed about more times than he would care to admit. 

What would Oliver put in that drawer if Connor moved to California? 

What would Oliver put in all of Connor’s drawers? In that space of the wardrobe that’s specifically for Connor’s court clothes? 

Oliver knows he had stuff there before Connor moved in. Clothes, books, computer gadgets maybe but somehow thinking about putting them back in replacement for Connor’s bits and pieces felt wrong. 

He has a lunch arranged with one of his old colleagues, James from work and even though he’d prefer to stay at home and wrack his brains to decide what he should do, he knows he can’t back out so he goes. 

It turns out to be great. 

James jokes about how the department is falling apart without him and Oliver rolls his eyes but he’s secretly grateful that he’s being missed. 

This is something that makes Oliver want to stay here. 

He likes his weekly chats with his friends, James telling horror stories of his wife’s parents and Oliver recounting Connor’s latest dramatic case. 

He’d make new friends in California but it wouldn’t be the same. 

As they are waiting for the bill, Oliver works up the nerve to talk to James about the whole Stanford issue because he desperately needs to talk to someone about this who isn’t Connor. 

“Connor applied to transfer to Stanford and he was accepted.” Oliver says hurriedly.

James looks up from his phone, wide-eyed and carefully slips his phone into his pocket.

“What? Is he…is he going to go?” 

Oliver swallows, “I’m not sure. He wants to…he really, really wants to.” 

James smiles in understanding, “But he doesn’t want to move without you.” 

Oliver nods

“Well…what do you want to do?” 

“I don’t know” Oliver says honestly “When I first found out I was sure that I wanted to stay. I like my life here. I’ve good friends, a good apartment, savings and your boss keeps offering me a promotion that I could be good at. It’s a good life here James.” 

“It is” James agrees “But come on Oliver I know you. You quit your job for a reason and I admire you for it. I’d love to quit but I just can’t afford it right now. You hated your job and you shouldn’t have to go back just because you don’t want to break out of your comfort zone.” 

“That’s not it!” 

James raises an eyebrow.

“Okay that’s not only it.” Oliver rolls his eyes at James’s triumphant grin “What if we move there and then break up? I’d have moved all the way there for nothing and what would be left for me in California?” 

James scoffs, “The warmth? The beautiful cities? The amazing opportunities? California is a big state if you and Connor don’t work out, there are plenty of things you could do. And you could always come back here. You know we’ll always be here for you.” 

“I do…thank you.” Oliver fidgets with the tablecloth “It’s just a big change.” 

“Well…” James sighs “Meeting Connor seems to have been the start of lots of changes for you. I mean think of all the things you wouldn’t have done a year ago that you’ve done since you met him. You quit your job, you’ve done work for a top-class lawyer and you let your boyfriend move in with you only after a few months of on and off dating.” 

Oliver is stunned into silence until the bill arrives and they are distracted for a few minutes by fighting over who pays. 

James insists that Oliver bought the meal the last time and seeing as Oliver honestly can’t remember if he did or not, he relents but insists to pay half and half anyway.

Together they walk back to James's workplace and Oliver feels a smile spread across his face at the knowledge that he doesn’t have to go back to work in that building anymore. 

Another reason why accepting that promotion might not be the best idea.

When they reach their destination, James turns to look at him and pats him on the shoulder, 

“Look it’s your choice Oliver. Don’t let him pressure you into anything. But it’s California after all.” James grins “You won’t get another chance to move and start your life over with your amazing, hot boyfriend.” 

Oliver laughs, knowing that his friend has a point, “Thanks.” 

James opens the door, “You’ll let me know what you decide right?” 

Oliver nods, “Of course.” 

“Good, right some of us have work to do so I’ll see you later!” 

“Yeah talk to you soon…and thanks again!” 

James winks at him and shuts the door behind him, leaving Oliver to walk the familiar streets and come to a conclusion on his own. 

…

Later that evening he gets a text from Connor who tells him that he won’t be home until late. 

Oliver’s heart aches a bit because he hates when Connor has to work late. 

It means eating alone, freezing leftover food and watching TV while anxiously waiting for Connor to walk through the door. 

That’s hard enough when it’s only a few days a week but if it were every day for months at a time Oliver isn’t sure he could bear it. 

Now that Oliver thinks about it, Connor moving without him would probably be just as big of a change as if they were both to move together. 

After all who would sneak the unhealthy cereals into the trolley when he goes grocery shopping? Who would help him to bed after he drank just a little too much again? 

He’s gotten so used to Connor being around that as much as Oliver wants to stay, he’s not sure if it would be worth it. 

Yes, Oliver was the one who brought up the idea of long-distance but now that he’s thinking about it, he’s not sure if he could handle it.

He tries to imagine the Skype conversations. 

He predicts that they would start out daily, then would soon fade into a once a week conversation that might only last a half hour. Oliver knows a long distance relationship with Connor would increase his insecurities tenfold.

He trusts Connor, he really does but Oliver still struggles to believe that Connor chose to be with him out of all the people he could have. If Connor were in California what was to stop him breaking off with the nerdy, HIV positive, unattractive I.T. boy back in Philly? 

And that’s another thing too. 

He would have to go to his doctor appointments without Connor. 

Oliver’s a big boy he certainly has gone to doctor appointments alone before but ever since his diagnosis, Connor has gone with him for each check-up. 

At first Oliver felt like Connor was trying to baby him but he was so terrified that first day that he was immensely grateful to have Connor’s hand to cling onto and his bright smile to comfort him when the doctors and the injections and the questions got too much. 

Oliver can just picture himself breaking down in tears at his first appointment without Connor. Not being able to go home and cry into Connor’s arms because it’s not fair that this happened to him, to them. 

Tuning out the noise from the TV, Oliver actually tries to picture this life that Connor wants. 

He pictures moving to California, Connor starting over in Stanford while Oliver gets a desk-job somewhere to pay the rent. 

They could be happy. 

Connor would be free of Annalise and even Oliver could have a chance to start over. 

He would be free from this town, this apartment where so many things had gone wrong for him. 

Maybe California could be both of their second chances. 

And even if it didn’t work out, for Oliver or even for Connor there was always Philadelphia to return to. 

They wouldn’t have to stay in California forever. 

There was still a nagging voice of doubt in the back of Oliver’s mind but one thing was becoming clear to him. 

He couldn’t live here without Connor. 

…

When Connor bursts through the door of apartment 303, he and Oliver run straight for each other’s arms. 

Connor’s throws his shoulder-bag on the ground and pulls Oliver into a tight hug. 

“No.” Connor whispers into the crook of Oliver’s neck

“No?” Oliver’s voice is muffled so Connor forces himself to pull back

“No to long distance.” Connor strokes a thumb over Oliver’s cheek “I can’t do it Ollie…I just can’t.” 

Oliver looks into Connor’s deep brown eyes and takes Connor’s other hand in his, “Me neither. I’m sorry I ever suggested it.” 

Connor smiles but his eyes are shining with unshed tears, “Have you…have you decided yet?” 

Oliver opens his mouth, takes a deep breath before he responds, 

“No I haven’t…I think we need to talk more about…everything before we decide.” 

“Would you like to talk now?” Connor asks hesitantly 

Oliver pauses for a moment before he nods again, 

“Yeah…I think it’s time.” 

…


	5. Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are…are you saying you want to come with me?” The undeniable hope is laced in Connor’s voice. 
> 
> Oliver bites his lip, “Well…there are a few things I need to ask you first.”

…

Together they sit on the couch and internally prepare themselves for this conversation. 

Connor wrings his hands and turns his head to find Oliver watching him intently. 

“Do you want to talk first?” Connor offers quietly. 

Connor hopes that Oliver will because in all honesty he isn’t sure what he wants to say.

“Alright” Oliver takes a deep breath “Look I thought about it a lot today. In the beginning, when I first read the e-mail, I was determined not to move. I didn’t want to move. But over the past week, I’ve been thinking about what you said. Imagining the life we could have in California. And now…now I think it wouldn’t be so bad if we moved.” 

Connor feels his heart constrict in his chest as he gapes at Oliver. 

“Are…are you saying you want to come with me?” The undeniable hope is laced in Connor’s voice. 

Oliver bites his lip, “Well…there are a few things I need to ask you first.” 

Connor nods without hesitation. 

“And I need you to answer me honestly.” Oliver adds

Connor freezes but when Oliver only stares at him patiently, he forces himself to nod stiffly.

“I…I will, I’ll answer honestly.” Connor hopes against all hope that Oliver won’t ask any questions that he will have to lie to. 

Oliver closes his eyes for a minute and then he begins, 

“I want to move with you, I want to start a life with you somewhere where we are both happy but to do that I need to know the truth. I need to know the real reason why you want to move.” 

Connor’s stomach feels uneasy, almost as if he were sea-sick. Oliver’s eyes are boring into him with nothing but love and hope but Connor knows that all his own eyes portray is fear. 

Oliver can’t find out, he can’t find out what Connor did. 

Beautiful, innocent, pure Oliver can’t find out about Sam, about Sinclair, about the axe or the gun that Connor held in his hands on the two worst nights of his life. 

Oliver would be disgusted, devastated and Connor would be broken. 

Oliver can’t find out. 

Connor swallows down the sudden tightness in his throat, 

“You know how much I hate working for Annalise. I can’t escape her here…I can’t escape all of the cases or everything she made us do here. I can’t focus on my coursework and I meant what I told you my colleagues are not my friends…except maybe Michaela but that’s it.” Connor lets out a rough sigh, “I’m not happy here Ollie. The only time I’m happy is when I’m with you and I don’t want to live like this anymore.” 

Connor breaks eye contact and stares into his lap, fearing whether or not he has revealed too much. He’s still not very good at the whole being honest and open thing but he's trying his best. Then he feels Oliver’s fingers intertwining with his and he can feel small pieces of tension instantly start to leave his body at Oliver’s touch. 

“Can I ask you something else?” Oliver’s voice is timid, almost as if he is afraid to ask.

Connor closes his eyes and nods.

“Was…was Annalise involved in that thing you did that you thought you might go to jail for? The one you couldn’t tell me about?” 

The word is out of his mouth before Connor can stop it, 

“Yes.” 

Connor feels Oliver’s thumb brush against the back of his hand and Connor is so confused. They are talking about the extremely illegal thing that Connor did and Oliver is here comforting him. He’s making that weight that’s constantly bearing on Connor’s chest feel lighter and for the hundredth time, Connor wonders how he got so lucky as to meet Oliver Hampton. 

“Please don’t ask what it was.” Connor hears himself begging “I can’t-“ 

Connor opens his eyes and looks at Oliver who is smiling sadly at him. 

“I won’t” Oliver swears “But…I just need to know…” 

Connor’s breath involuntarily hitches.

“Is moving to the other side of the country some grand plan for if the police find out and come after you?” 

Connor shakes his head and allows himself to breathe.

“No…no I was being over-dramatic back then. We- I’m not going to jail any time soon.” Connor doesn’t know whether he’s trying to convince Oliver or himself “I’m not going to be taken away from you.”

Oliver squeezes his hand, “Good.” 

“I just want to get away from all the bad memories.” Connor admits “I want to make happy memories…and even one or two bad ones with you in California. I don’t care if they’re happy or sad just once they’re with you.” Connor swallows, “Which is why I can’t move unless you come with me. I just couldn’t do it Ollie.”

Oliver nods and Connor thinks he sees him blinking back tears but that could just be a trick of the light. 

“I understand. I…I went to lunch with James today and I told him about Stanford. He said that it’s an amazing opportunity and that even if it didn’t work out…we could always come back.”

“Definitely” Connor agrees, hoping that the desperation he feels isn’t clear in his words. If he has any chance of moving with Oliver to California then he’ll do anything. And Oliver isn’t wrong, moving back to Philadelphia is always an option. 

Oliver takes a quick glance around the apartment before his eyes land on Connor again, 

“I’d have to work out a deal with the landlord and you’ll have to talk to the person subletting your old place-“ 

“Oliver…?” Connor’s voice breaks.

“And you’ll need to write a letter to your school, I’m pretty sure they need to be aware if you’re transferring-“ 

“Oliver!” Connor exclaims, sitting fully upright “Are you…have you…” 

Oliver licks his lips and smiles, “Yeah, yes I think we should go. Together.” 

Connor makes a sound that’s half-laugh, half-gasp. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes Connor.” 

“No but are you really sure? If we get there and you want to turn back-“ 

“Connor!” Oliver throws a leg over Connor and sits facing him on his lap; Oliver strokes Connor’s hair out his eyes lovingly and kisses him gently, “I love you and I’m sure. I want to be with you no matter what apartment or city or state we live in. I want-“ 

Connor cuts him off by wrapping an arm around the back of his neck and pulling Oliver down for a long, deep, passionate kiss. 

By the time they pull apart, their breaths are shallow and ragged; Oliver leans down and presses his forehead gently against Connor’s. 

Connor can’t help the massive grin that refuses to leave his face, 

“I love you Ollie…and thank you.” 

...


	6. It Feels Right For Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Oliver tell their loved ones and others that they have decided to move to California.

...

The first thing Connor does when he wakes up is kiss a half-asleep Oliver who is thankfully too tired to complain about morning breath. 

"Are you still sure?" Connor mumbles tiredly against his lips. 

Oliver chuckles, "course" he whispers. 

A wide grin spreads over Connor’s face and he kisses Oliver square on the mouth again. 

Needless to say, neither of them leaves the bed for another hour.

...

Connor strides into the Keating household two hours later, ignores the bickering students in the sitting room and walks straight into Annalise’s study

Annalise looks up unimpressed from her files, 

"What do you want Mr Walsh?" 

Connor simply smiles and places the piece of paper on her desk. 

She snatches it up, scans through it before meeting his gaze with her face fixed into a tight frown

"What is this?" 

"It's my letter of resignation." 

Truthfully he had wanted to just hand her a sheet of paper that said "Bye! Thanks for ruining my life! Glad I never have to see you again' on it but Oliver felt that a letter of resignation might be more polite. 

Annalise raises an eyebrow, "People don't just quit this job Mr Walsh." 

"I'm not just quitting," Connor’s self-satisfied smirk widens into a proud smile "I'm transferring. To Stanford" 

Annalise’s eyes are wide "And Oliver?" 

Connor swallows the lump in his throat, knowing full well that Annalise doesn’t care about his relationship. She only cares about whether she'll still have a hacker to save her ass every now and then.

"He's coming too" 

Annalise nods thoughtfully. Connor stands there awkwardly for a minute before she speaks again

"Well then...I wish you the best of luck" 

Connor feels his stomach turn and unsure of what to say he just says "Thank you" before walking towards the door. 

"And Connor?" 

He turns, surprised by the use of his first name.

Annalise’s face is expressionless and cold but Connor sees something protective in her eyes that he can't quite place.

"Leave this place. Leave, live your life and never look back" 

Connor nods and exits the office with his head held high. 

His four colleagues are standing by the door, no doubt eavesdropping on the whole conversation judging by their wide eyes.

"You’re….you’re actually going then?" Asher says slowly, realisation dawning on him 

Connor pats him on the arm, "Afraid so" 

"Oliver too?" Laurel asks quietly 

Connor nods, sticking his hands in his pockets "Oliver’s coming too" 

Michaela steps forward and for a brief second Connor fears that she's going to slap him but instead her arms wrap around him in a tight hug, 

"Remember what I said?" She whispers

He nods and hugs her back instantly. 

The others, moved by this sudden friendly act by Michaela move forward and before Connor knows what's happening he's in the centre of a big Keating five hug. 

And yeah Connor thinks to himself, he might miss these guys just a little. 

...

Oliver calls his former boss that afternoon to ask him to please stop calling because as much as he appreciates the generous offer, he can't accept it as he's moving across the country. 

It takes ten minutes for his old boss to actually believe that Oliver would willingly move to California but thankfully he eventually he gives in and decides to give the promotion to James which makes Oliver exceedingly happy. 

Connor’s at Middleton University, inquiring about what paperwork or forms he will have to sign so he can transfer which gives Oliver some downtime to think. 

He knows the next step is telling their families. 

Oliver loves his family, he truly does but he doesn’t see them that often anymore as it is. 

Yet Oliver knows his parents will probably be upset about their son moving so far away but hopefully they’ll accept his decision. 

Across the city, Connor walks through the sunlit park on his way home and he’s thinking the same thing. 

His mum definitely won’t be thrilled about him moving away. He knows Gemma will support him no matter what. Truthfully, a knot of sadness tightens in his stomach at the thought of living so far away from his family, especially from his adorable niece and nephew but he knows this is the right decision to make. 

For what’s left of his sanity he just has to move away from here. 

...

After lunch, Connor and Oliver agree to skype Connor’s mum and Gemma together. 

Oliver hasn’t met Connor’s family in person but he has talked with them over skype before and Gemma added him on Facebook the moment Connor told her that they had moved in together. 

From the brief conversations Oliver has had with Gemma, he can see that she and her brother are very different. Gemma seems more open, she smiled a smile identical to Connor’s for all of their last skype conversation but Oliver only sees that smile on Connor’s face when they’re alone, Oliver has never seen him use it around anyone else except his family and him. 

Connor’s mum was extremely eager to meet him which made Oliver slightly nervous before he first talked to her. But from the way she held herself on screen, Oliver could see where Connor got some of his guardedness from. 

That’s why Oliver was so surprised when Connor tells her about Stanford an hour later, his mother bursts into tears. 

Connor’s eyes widen in horror as he watches his sister console his sobbing mother and he aches to be able to hold her and apologise. 

He knew she would be upset that he was moving to the west coast but he didn’t expect her to have this reaction.  
Through the static Connor can hear Gemma whispering soothing words to their mum, 

“You’ll still have me mum! I’m not going anywhere! And this is an amazing opportunity for Connor. It’s Stanford!” 

“Stanford be damned” Ms. Walsh scoffs “Why do you even want to transfer? I thought you were happy, you were working with that top class lawyer and you only moved in with Oliver a few months ago!” She sniffs “Are you two breaking up? Is that it?” 

Connor shakes his head rapidly, his mouth opening and closing as he desperately tries to explain. 

Oliver sneaks a hand down and takes Connor’s hand in his; giving him a supportive squeeze. 

Connor lets out a deep breath, “No, we aren’t breaking up mom. Oliver is moving with me.” 

“Is that why you’re moving?” Gemma asks, eyebrows drawn together “Oliver is this your idea?” 

“No.” Connor insists before Oliver can say anything “No, this is my decision. Oliver didn’t even agree until yesterday. This is what I want Gem, mum…I want to move. I’m just…I’m not happy here.” 

That makes his mum sit up, “You aren’t?” 

Connor swallows self-consciously, “Yeah…I’m just…my boss is a nightmare, I don’t have any friends other than my co-workers who would throw me under a bus if it meant they got ahead and I just…I can’t seem to focus in my lectures. I need a fresh start mum.” 

“In California?” Gemma asks; her voice soft and gentle. There is no judgement there and Connor feels comforted by that. 

“Yes. It just…it feels right for me.” Connor smiles at Oliver “For us.” 

Ms. Walsh wipes the tears away from her cheeks. She doesn’t speak for a moment and Connor can feel his body begin to shake with nerves as the seconds tick by. 

“Okay.” She relents “Okay I…I’ll support you in this.” Her eyes flit to Oliver “If this is what you both want. If you have both thought this through.” She throws Connor a look “But if this is some rash, impulsive decision that you will regret in a year then I’d advise you to think twice.” 

“It’s not” Oliver admits “I thought it was when Connor first brought it up. But the more he explained and the more we discussed it, we realised that it was just the right thing to do. Like Connor said, this is what feels right for us.” 

Ms. Walsh nods, “Okay. Then I’m…I’m happy for you.” 

Connor can tell that she doesn’t 100% mean it but he knows the only reason she doesn’t is because she’s wary. And Connor can understand that. It’s a big decision, a big step and one he’s ready to take with Oliver by his side. 

He understands why his mum is worried because he’s worried too, as is Oliver but they’re ready for this. This is their future, California is their future. 

...

The next day Oliver and Connor take Oliver’s parents out to lunch and that’s when they tell them the news and it doesn’t go as well as they hoped either. 

“I don’t understand” Mr. Hampton’s arms are crossed, distinctive lines have appeared on his forehead due to his unimpressed frown as he looks at his son “Why do you want to move across the country?” 

Oliver sighs, “I told you, Connor got accepted into Stanford and-“ 

“Yes you said that.” Mrs. Hampton intervenes “But you never told us why you want to move.”

Oliver sees Connor start fidgeting with the tablecloth out of the corner of his eye and he knows that Connor is beginning to worry, “There’s nothing keep me here in Philadelphia and Connor got accepted to transfer. He asked me to move with him and as I explained to you, I did think a lot about it and we decided that this was the best option for us.” 

“Nothing keeping you here?” Mrs. Hampton’s eyebrows dart to her hairline, “What about us, your parents? What about your friends? Your job?” 

“I quit my job” Oliver reveals “And before you lecture me, I quit my job before Connor got accepted. It had nothing to do with moving.” 

“Why on Earth would you quit your job?” Mr. Hampton asks in disbelief. 

Oliver shrugs, “I wasn’t happy there. It bored me.” 

Mrs. Hampton laughs, “Oliver that’s life! Work is boring sometimes, most of the time in fact. But we grit our teeth and bear it because it puts food on the table.” 

“Exactly” Mr. Hampton adds “And speaking of, where are you getting the money to move all the way to California? I know you have savings but this is something else. And I mean no offence to you Connor but unless things have changed, most college students these days are pretty broke. And I’m aware how expensive law school is above all other schools.” 

“Dad” Oliver hisses, his cheeks flaming. 

“Its fine” Connor calms Oliver before turning to Mr. Hampton, “I’ve been working ever since I started law school for one of my professors. I worked all through high school and yes I have a good bit of money stored away from my family.” Connor runs a hand through his hair, confused as to how he ended up discussing his finances with his boyfriend’s father 

“We can afford this. I’ve done the math and it works out. I’m subletting my old apartment to another college student so that’s another bit of income I have. This isn’t just a far-fetched dream that I’ve decided to follow on a whim Mr. Hampton. I’ve thought this out, we both have.” 

Oliver’s parents look at each other for a minute, silently debating over how best to continue. 

“But what will you do in California Oliver?” Mrs. Hampton inquires 

“There are plenty of IT jobs out there mum. I’ll find work easily enough.” 

“You just said your last IT job bored you to the point of quitting!” Mr. Hampton retorted. 

Oliver rolls his eyes, “I’ll find something, I’ve a good CV you know that.” 

“But what about-“ 

“Mum!” Oliver reaches over and places a hand gently over hers, “I promise you I have thought of every single argument you can come up with for me not to move. I have thought of every single way this could go wrong. But none of that compares to all of the ways that it could go right.” Oliver smiles “This is what I want mum, dad this is what I need right now.” 

Mr and Mrs. Hampton look at each other again, Oliver swallows hard but then he feels his mum squeezing his hand gently and then they’re nodding in agreement and Oliver’s smiling brighter than he has all day. 

Connor lets out a sigh of relief and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, everything will be alright. 

...


	7. A Fresh Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor sighs, "It's just...weird you know, packing everything up. Getting ready to leave this place behind."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter! It's a bit of an epilogue I suppose. This turned into a longer project than I anticipated but I'm happy with it. Thanks for all the support and encouragement for me to continue!

...

"We need more cardboard boxes!" Connor shouts from the bedroom as he tapes up his sixth cardboard box in the past two hours. 

"I went and got some more at lunch. They're in the sitting room!" Oliver replies from the kitchen. 

Connor grins widely; he finds himself doing that more and more often over the past few weeks. 

"What would I do without you" Connor teases as he enters the living area and beams at the stack of cardboard boxes by the couch. 

Oliver snorts, "Who knows" 

Connor grabs two boxes and heads back to the bedroom, taking a detour to the kitchen so he can peck Oliver on the lips, "Isn't it lucky that I'll never have to find out?" 

Oliver grins and turns back to packing up the cutlery, "I suppose it is yeah."

Connor throws the boxes on the bed and looks around the room, trying to decide what to pack up next. 

He finally settles on packing up the rest of the clothes as there aren't too many left. Grabbing a sharpie, Connor writes 'Ollie's Clothes' on one box and 'Con's Clothes' on the other before opening the wardrobe and throwing the rest of the clothes in it onto the already messy bed.

"Don't pack up any of my suits!" Oliver shouts from the kitchen "I'm going to pack them separately so they won't get crumpled" 

Connor rolls his eyes "I wasn't going to pack them anyway."

"I know I was just reminding you!" 

"Okay!" 

Connor carelessly begins throwing in his sweaters and shirts. He sets aside his good court outfits and his one suit (compared to Oliver’s several) to put in separately when he spots it. He had tucked it away so he never had to look at it but now Connor briefly wonders why he didn't burn the thing already. Then he remembers what the smell of smoke does to him and shoves that thought aside. 

Tentatively he picks up the expensive navy scarf and does his best not to inhale any of the smoke that's no doubt still etched in its wool from that night. 

This is the scarf he wore on the night of pooling blood, consuming fear and the overbearing stench of thick smoke. 

Without thinking twice about it he speeds into the sitting room and throws the damned scarf into the box that Oliver has neatly labelled "For Giving Away". 

Oliver turns from the counter at the noise and raises an eyebrow in concern, "Everything alright?" 

Connor lets out a long breath but nods insistently, "Everything's fine." 

Oliver’s eyebrows draw together, "You sure?" 

Connor sighs, "It's just...weird you know, packing everything up. Getting ready to leave this place behind." 

It’s not a lie. Connor really is feeling a bit odd and downhearted about leaving this place behind. He couldn’t explain to Oliver about the scarf and for some reason he already felt slightly better now that he has thrown the damned thing away. 

Oliver sniggers, "You've been here less than a year." 

Connor walks over and sits on the high chair at the counter top and folds his arms into his chest protectively, 

"I know, I know but still....there are so many memories here you know?" 

Oliver smiles, puts the cutlery to one side before leaning on the counter across from Connor. 

"Yeah I understand." 

Connor swallows, “It...it sounds ridiculous but I feel like I'm just...packing up and getting rid of all the old bad memories. That this is helping me...move on from all the shitty things I did this year."

Oliver places a hand on his arm, "I know what you mean" 

Connor raises an eyebrow and questions sarcastically, "What shitty things have you done this past year?"

Oliver blushes, "Well that's not quite what I meant. I just feel like...I'm leaving the whole diagnosis behind me." Oliver looks down at the countertop, "I know I'll always have HIV and it'll always be there in my life but...I'm hoping it won't be as much of a burden in California as it was here." 

Connor moves his hand so that he's holding Oliver's gently, "It won't be. Fresh start remember?" 

Oliver nods, "Fresh start." He agrees 

Connor stands, "Coffee?" He offers. 

Oliver bites his lip, "We should probably continue packing for a while." 

Connor dangles the pot teasingly, "You sure you couldn't use a break?" 

Oliver smiles, "Alright." 

Ten minutes later they're sitting with their feet up on the couch drinking coffee and looking around the almost empty apartment in reminiscence. 

"You've a lot of modern art pieces." Connor muses as he stares at the almost overflowing box in the corner, "How come I never noticed them before?" 

Oliver shrugs, "I don't know. It's easy to miss things when they're staring right in front of you sometimes." 

Connor hums in agreement but doesn’t mention how utterly right Oliver is. 

"Who would have thought we'd end up here?" Oliver wonders 

"What do you mean?" Connor frowns 

Oliver shrugs, “I mean I don't think either of us expected this to come out of a one night stand that the main purpose for was you getting those emails for Annalise." 

"Hey! I meant what I said that night; I wanted you too." 

And it’s true. He did want Oliver that night. Mostly for the sex and the emails but Connor had still wanted him. 

Oliver sips his coffee, "Sure you did." 

"I did!" Connor laughs "Sure you weren't my usual 'type' but you were better. You won me that stupid trophy" Connor grins and Oliver rolls his eyes. 

"Is that why you came back? I mean I know you needed me for hacking but...you could've asked anyone for that." 

Connor looks away from Oliver and rubs the back of his neck. 

He's never let himself think about why he kept coming back. At the time he was able to convince himself that it was just because of that Oliver was a skilled hacker and could help him get ahead of his colleagues. He could get Oliver to hack into a few places and also have sex. It was a win-win for Connor really. But after Oliver shoved him out of his apartment, Connor quickly realised it was more than that. 

He didn’t just want the hacking or the sex; he wanted Oliver. The date nights and the crossword puzzles and even the pathetic cuddles that used to sicken him but instead they now make him feel warm and safe. Because Oliver always had a way of making Connor feel safe. 

"I liked you." Connor says simply "You could hack for me sure but you were cute and funny and good in bed. I pretended it wasn't more than that but it was. Unfortunately I didn’t realise that until it was too late." 

Oliver smiles, "Everything worked out in the end though." 

Connor grins, "Yeah it did. And we certainly made lots of memories here." 

"You're thinking about all of the sex aren't you?" Oliver comments knowingly. 

"No...well okay yes but other stuff too." Connors smile widens at Oliver’s laugh and he gestures to the kitchen, "I was just thinking about the time you jumped on me in the middle of washing dishes" 

"I did not jump on you, I kissed you there's a difference" Oliver playfully argues 

"Not much of a difference" Connor remarks "I still had soap on the back of my neck for hours afterwards"

Oliver places the empty coffee cup on the floor as they already sold their coffee table, 

"That wasn't one of my finer moments I suppose" 

Connor grins, "It's one of my favourite memories of this place actually." 

Oliver raises an eyebrow, “The time when I compared you to drugs?" 

"No." Connor swallows "The time you told me you more than liked me." 

A dark shade of red stains Oliver’s cheeks so Connor takes his hand reassuringly. 

"It was much sweeter than the first time you told me you loved me anyway." 

Oliver flinches "You promised we wouldn't talk about that." 

Connor chuckles, "It was cute!" 

"I was drunk and we weren't even officially back together!" 

Connor shrugs, "It wasn't any more romantic then when I told you I loved you for the first time." 

Oliver snuggles into the back of the couch, "Now that I remember." 

"Definitely not one of my finer moments." Connor adds gloomily 

Oliver traces his thumb back and forth over Connors hand, "Maybe but...despite the other thing you told me, it was still nice to know how you felt." 

Connor waits for a minute before whispering, "Ollie?" 

"Yeah?" 

Connor shuffles forward on the couch and kisses his cheek tenderly, "I love you" 

Oliver bites back a wide grin but Connor catches it, "I love you too" 

Connor drinks the last of his coffee and then says,

"Oh do you know what I will miss though?" 

"What?"

"The Thorn Birds" 

Oliver laughs, "We can re-watch The Thorn Birds in California Connor."

Connor whines "It won't be the same. But I mean do you remember watching the thorn birds? That was fun."

"I can't believe you actually liked that. I mean I knew I would but I never thought of you as the chick-flick type." 

Connor rolls his eyes, "Well I was with you wasn't I? Of course I liked it. And we shared popcorn and had a pillow fight. It was brilliant. " 

Oliver laughs, "I threw one pillow at you because you didn't know what The Thorn birds was. Stop telling people that we had some sort of sexy pillow fight because I know you have been." 

"How do you know that- wait let me guess, Asher?"

Oliver stands and goes back to packing up the kitchen, "Yup" 

Connor stretches before following him, choosing to help Oliver out instead of going back to that room where he might find other clothes from that horrific night. 

"Ugh do you remember when he moved in here for a few weeks?" Connor shivers.

Oliver scoffs as he puts away the coffeemaker, "It was your idea. I certainly wasn't thrilled about it." 

"He wasn't that bad I suppose. He could have been worse." 

"He insulted my records" Oliver glares "Speaking of have we packed them?" 

Connor nods and takes out the port and pans, "Yeah I packed them yesterday along with the record player.”

Oliver leans over and kisses him gently, "Thank you." 

"No problem now will I pack up these or will we still need them for cooking?" 

Oliver shakes his head, "You can pack them up. We can just live off microwave pot nodules and take away for the next few days." 

"Sounds perfect." 

It sounded like the early days of their relationship actually when they weren’t officially back together but still spent most of their free time with one another. Back in the days when Connor would abruptly turn up on Oliver’s doorstep with a bag of take out and hope that the door wouldn't be slammed in his face. 

Those evenings when Connor was still working to regain Oliver’s trust so all they did was eat. There was no sex or any hint of Oliver being ready for them to properly date again so they just ate and talked and Connor remembers how surprised he was when he realised that he enjoyed that.

He liked the talking and the relaxing with Oliver without the guilt of only being there for hacking for Annalise or because he wanted sex. He liked the idea of having a relationship with Oliver. And it turned out better than he ever could have hoped. 

The day continues like that. Packing up the bad memories and reminiscing on the good, deciding what things to take to California and what to leave behind. 

"I don't think we have room for all of your throw pillows Oliver" 

"Connor, if we have room for all of your textbooks and law guidebooks then we can make room for my throw pillows."

"Yes but I need those books-" 

"Are you suggesting that I don't need my throw pillows?" 

Connor sighed and that was the end of that debate. 

By the end of the night almost everything is packed away. Cardboard boxes litter the floor and bubble wrap covers most of the surface space.

In the dim moonlight of apartment 303 Connor and Oliver stand under their bedroom doorway and lean into one another taking in just how much their apartment has changed in a few hours. 

"Are you still sure?" Connor asks; his voice is quiet because as always he is a little afraid to know the answer. 

Oliver turns in his arms and kisses Connor passionately. Connor gives in straight away, his arm locking around Oliver’s neck while he feels familiar fingers thread through his hair. It’s fervent, long and intimate and Connor loves every second of it. 

When they eventually pull away, Oliver leans his forehead against Connor's,

“I'm sure, absolutely 100% sure. I want this. Do you?" 

"God yeah." Connor whispers; his eyes still trained on Oliver’s lips.

Oliver smiles, "Well then that's that. You've already sorted out all the forms to transfer. You've told Stanford that you've accepted their acceptance so that's it. We're moving." 

Connor wraps his arms around Oliver and pulls him into a hug. 

Hiding his face in Oliver’s neck, Connor finds himself fighting back tears. Not because he's sad, in actual fact he's not sure if he has ever felt this happy before but it's finally hitting him that they are actually moving. 

He's moving with Oliver to beautiful California, where they will be safe and happy. Safe, happy, in love and far, far away from Annalise and all the terrible things that he did while working for her. 

Oliver hugs him back gently and murmurers into his ear, 

"I love you." 

Connor smiles against Oliver’s skin because Oliver is always able to say the perfect things at just the right moment and against his will, Connor lets a crystal tear fall, 

"I love you too Ollie" 

They had been through a lot and moving across the country was definitely a massive risk but Connor knew he wouldn't regret it. He could never regret this. 

California was their fresh start, their future, and nothing and nobody could get in the way of that now.

Stanford is going to be their ridiculous, cliché, fairy-tale happily ever after and Connor just can’t wait for it to begin. 

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End ;)  
> Thanks so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought.  
> I hope you're satisfied with the ending. I just want them to live happily together in peace okay? They move to California and everything is amazing and Michaela vists every few months for a holiday in the sun. Happy days!  
> Until next time!!!


End file.
